Facebook can be either a very useful source of social media and information or it can be an utter waste of time. For the most part, Facebook is an utter waste of time. How much time do you spend on it, doing absolutely nothing constructive? Speaking for myself, I know that I have spent hours just roaming it. Then came a time, when I decided to delete it, sort of as a way of Facebook rehab. It worked. At least for a while. Then today I decided to go through my messages, searching for the ones I never answered or never got a reply.
As I was going through my messages, I decided to write to a girl I became friends with, while sharing a room at Motol. We met during my second chemotherapy session and instantly hit it off. She was already bald and I still had my brown mane (which fell out 2 days later). Marketa instantly stole my gossip magazines, which I brought in order to pass time faster. It helped, but night came and the effect of chemo did as well. We were both sicker than dogs, nauseated by the drug, which causes you to vomit uncontrollably. I only had to stay until the next day and then go home, while Marketa had to stay a few more days, because of her treatment. Hers was different, since she had a different illness.
Despite the fact that she complained about having abdominal pain to her doctor, he took no interest. He said that the reason she was bloated was because she was pregnant. Of course he said it as she were stupid, that she didn't know this. I remember her telling me, how her dad was able to get her into Motol, where they diagnosed her with ovarian cancer. At first they thought the tumor was the size of a tennis ball, but when they preformed surgery on her to take the tumor out, it was in fact, the size of a loaf of bread. She was able to tell me all this without even blinking and with such positive energy, that I was happy I had finally found someone who wasn't depressed because of their illness.
We kept in touch after that, until around February, she stopped answering. I figured she was just lazy and did not want to respond (I believe we all do that). I left it at that. Until today, when I spent my time aimlessly cruising through my messages. I decided to check up on her page and see how her hair was growing (chemotherapy changes your hair structure i.e. curly). Once I was on her profile, I thought it was strange she hasn't changed it since I last spoke with her. After reading the comments on her wall, I realized with great grief that Marketa, at the tender age of 20 years, has passed on.
It is an utter shock and with no shame, I admit that I have been crying during the evening over her. It has come as an absolute blow, that someone so young and positive could succumb to her illness.
I will always remember her as a girl, who rocked out her bandanna with some heavy boots and a cute skirt. She always wore makeup - liquid eyeliner and fake lashes were her fave. And she always had a great attitude, even though she had to stay at the hospital. Marketa was always positive and always had a smile on her face, bravely fighting her illness. I am sure that that is how she wants to be remembered. That is how I will.
*
Facebook může být velmi užitečným zdrojem sociálních médií a informací, nebo to může být naprosta ztrata casu. Vetsinou je Facebook absolutni ztratou casu. Kolik casu na tom stravite a pritom nedelate nic konkretniho? Pokud mluvim za sebe, tak muzu rict, ze nekdy ja jsem travila i hodiny. Pak prisel cas, kdy ja jsem se rozhodla vymazat Facebook, jako odvykaci kura. Zafungovalo to. Alespon na chvili. Dnes jsem se rozhodla si projit zpravy a najit ty, na ktere jsem nikdy neodpovedela, nebo nikdy nedostala odpoved.
Ve chvili co jsem si projizdela zpravy, tak jsem se rozhodla napsat jedny slecne s kterou jsem se skamaradil behem pobytu v Motole. Seznamily jsme se behem me druhe chemoterapie a ihned jsme se skamaradly. Ona uz byla plesata a ja jeste mela svoji hnedou hrivu (za 2 dny mi to vypadalo). Marketa mi ihned ukradla vsechny bulvarni casopisy, ktere jsem mela sebou, aby lepe utikal cas. Pomohlo to, ale pak prisla noc a taky efekt chemoterapie. Bylo nam spatne od zaludku kvuli lecbe, ktera nuti cloveka neustale zvracet (neustale = kazdych 10 minut behem 8 hodin). Ja musela zustat jen do dalsiho dne, kdezto Market musela zustat a par dnu navic. Ona mela jinou lecbu, protoze mela jinou nemoc.
I presto, ze si stezovala u sveho doktora, ze ma bolesti bricha, pohrdave odmit jine moznosti nemoci. Rikal, ze duvodem proc je nafoukla, je protoze je tehotna. Samozrejme to neobeslo bez ponizujicich pohledu "jakto, ze jste to nevedela". Pamatuji si, jak mi rikala, ze jeji tat ji dostal k doktorum do Motola, kde ji ihned diagnostikovali rakovinu vajecniku. Nejprve si mysleli, ze je to ve velikosti tenisoveho micku. Jakmile ji operovali, aby ji nador vyndali, zjistili, ze je to velky jako bochnik chleba. Rekla mi toto vse bez mrknuti a s positivni energii. Konecne jsem nasla nekoho kdo neprodleval na sve nemoci!
Zustaly jsme v kontaktu az do unora, kdy prestala odpovidat. Myslela jsem si, ze je bud lina nebo nechce odpovidat (delame to vsichni). Nechala jsem to u toho. Az dnes, kdy jsem travila bezcilne na svych zpravach. Rozhodla jsem se, ze se na ni kouknu a jak ji rostou vlasy (chemoterapi meni strukturu vlasu; napr.: vlnity). Jakmile jsem byla na jejim profilu, myslela jsem si, ze je zvlastni, ze na nem nic nemenila od te doby co jsme spolu mluvily. Po tom co jsem cetla komenty na jejim zdi, tak jsem si uvedomila s ohromnym zalem, ze nas Market opustila z tohodle sveta v neznem veku 20 let.
Bylo to absolutni sok a beze stud se priznavam, ze jsem obrecela jeji opusteni cely vecer. Prislo to jako absolutni uder, ze nekdo takto mlady a positivni mohla podlehnout sve nemoci.
Budu si ji vzdycky pamatovat jako holka, ktera nosila hrde svuj satek, kanady a rozkosnou cernou sukni. Vzdycky nosila makeup - tekute linky a falesne rasy byly jeji oblibene. Mela vzdycky skvely postoj, i kdyz musela zustat v nemocnici dele. Marketa vzdycky byla positivni a mela usmev na obliceji, silne bojujici proti sve nemoci. Jsem si jista, ze by chtela aby se takhle na ni vzpominalo. Ja vim, ze ja tak budu.
